And It Begins
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Let it be known!
I will admit, you did dump me. but you asked me for a blow job the same day you where planning on dumping me… hell i should have dumped you a while ago. shame on me…
Because you had putrid, rancid breath, and because you never used a fork to eat… You ate a pancake in one bite. And it was a pretty damn big pancake!
Because you had too many excuses.
Every single day that you were sleeping wit your ex, you told me I was playing with your emotions. I just got sick of it, and you.
Because you knew I loved Harry Potter, but you still constantly referred to Dumbledore as Gandalf! You can’t just say things like that! EVER!
Because there is only room for one woman in this relationship, ME! I don’t want to hear your bitchy office stories and I don’t want to hear about your ticking biological clock! Also, get more active.
Because rebound relationships have a shelf life. Sorry.
Because you got wasted at a sushi restaurant and had to go back in the morning to pick up your debit card.
Wok of Shame
Because you spent more time running around in a cape saying ‘magic spells’ than you did with me.
Because all you wanted was sex. It was never a relationship – it was you satisfying an urge.
TWIDY: Because I’m not a porn star – so don’t expect me to do everything they do in porn.
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