And It Begins
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You hadn’t watched the Big Lebowski until after we met. Then your reaction to it was lukewarm.
I went down on you and found toilet paper stuck in there.
Roses are red, pizza is yummy. When you wore my panties, that sh*t wasn’t funny.
Because, even in light of her lunacy, fame-whoring, Twitter tirading, and all-around failure as a human being, you would still f**k Tila Tequila!
Go Snort on a Used Condom
You like cats, but hate dogs. You’re not normal.
We dated 6 months, not once did you clean your bathroom. It was a vial, toxic, waste dump to start out with. On top of that you peed on the seat. EVERY TIME! God only knows about your sheets.
I gave you a blowjob for a half-hour and you had no sign of finishing. A HALF HOUR. Am I really that bad?! No! You had never even gotten one!
You still had no driver’s license or car by the age of 20. It’s not so rockstarish when you pull up on a date getting dropped off by your cousin.
Because you were not even remotely excited about the final Harry Potter movie.
Because you were jealous that I am thinner, smarter, and more attractive than you. Also, I’m not a socially awkward freak like you and it made me look bad to be around someone so desperate and clingy.
leave me alone
so relieved i dumped you
You probably have asperger's
TWIDY: Because I’m not a porn star – so don’t expect me to do everything they do in porn.
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